Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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