also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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