whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
