im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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