how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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