we have officially lost it.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
