I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
