I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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