another moral hangover. fuck.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
