how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
