The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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