That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
