you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
