Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So here I am, sexting at work.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
