I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
