You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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