biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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