So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
