Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
