I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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