I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
