I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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