I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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