Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
