Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
