Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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