Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
