it wasn't lemon gatorade
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize