I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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