If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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