oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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