you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Someone came in the potted fern
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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