the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
