I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize