Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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