There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
