i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
