She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
