chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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