Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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