they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
