Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize