The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
