Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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