I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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