where am i from again
it was like his penis was on wheels.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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