I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
