it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
