No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
