It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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