Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
