Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Randomize
