420 ftw
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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