The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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