Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize