Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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