it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
