Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
