dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
