Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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